Life is an Unsolved Puzzle
by Settiai
Summary: Shepard thought it was her imagination at first.


Shepard thought it was her imagination at first.

She'd always had a talent for seeing things that weren't actually there, and she'd been sure that this time was no exception. If nothing else, she at least had a good excuse for once. She was running on fumes, trying her best to keep ahead of the Reapers and Cerberus and the universe in general, and nothing she did seemed to be enough.

And Garrus was always there, at her side and watching her back. He was always there to pick her up, with a bad joke or a horrible bottle of wine or a few stolen moments in her cabin (or the main battery, or the lounge, or—on one memorable occasion, and thank Ashley's God for EDI or _that_ might have been awkward—the damn elevator) just when she needed it most.

It had to be all in her head.

But then she'd catch him watching Tali, his gaze lingering on her just a second or two too long. But then she'd walk into engineering or the main battery and hear the two of them teasing each other over the comms, part friendship and part flirtation and part something else that she couldn't quite define. But then she'd take Garrus and Tali groundside with her, and she'd stay quiet and just _listen_ to the two of them banter.

Shepard started to think that maybe, just maybe, there might be something to her suspicions after all.

* * *

><p>Looking back, broaching the subject a few minutes after she and Garrus had finished a rather vigorous bout of sex? Probably not her most stunning idea.<p>

(Then again, she'd once driven the Mako over a geth colossus. While trying to escape a thresher maw. She'd never claimed to be a tactical genius, no matter what titles people kept throwing at her.)

"Shepard, I love _you_," Garrus said, staring at her as if she'd completely lost her mind.

For a second, she was almost convinced that it really had been all in her head. Then she took a closer look at his face, at the way he was looking at her but his gaze wasn't quite meeting hers, and she knew that it wasn't.

"I know," she said quietly, pressing a kiss against his mandible. "And, believe me, I love you. But I still think you're at least halfway in love with Tali too."

For a second, Shepard thought that he was going to protest again. That he was going to argue or laugh or call her crazy. But he didn't. He didn't say a word.

And, well, his silence said all there was to say and more besides.

Shepard kissed him again. "Have you talked to her about it?" she asked, pulling away so that she could see his entire face.

Garrus stared at her as if she'd completely lost her mind. "Of course not!"

Shepard didn't roll her eyes, but it took some effort. "Why the hell not?" she asked, tilting her head.

He opened his mouth. Then he closed it. "Because I'm involved with you," he finally managed to choke out, sounding more confused than anything else.

Shepard gave him a Look. (It was definitely a Look with a capital "L". She'd been working on it for years, and as much practice as she'd been getting lately, she suspected that it was getting close to being perfect.) "Tali's my friend too," she said. "And if it makes the two of you happy, I don't mind sharing."

Garrus gaped at her as if she'd just announced that she and Wrex were eloping to Ilos. "What?" he managed to choke out.

She met his gaze unflinchingly. "Garrus, I'm serious," she said. "I want you to be happy. Did you really think I'm that selfish?"

He kept staring at her, a completely unreadable look on his face.

"What happened to you being a one-turian kind of woman?" he asked after a moment or two, his voice barely more than a whisper.

Shepard blinked. "I didn't say anything about me going anywhere," she said, frowning. "I'm very happy with my one turian, thank you very much."

The expression on Garrus's face shifted into a completely different one, albeit one that wasn't a single bit easier for her to read.

It actually caught her by surprise when Garrus suddenly leaned in and kissed her. It wasn't something he did very often, since turians wasn't exactly made for it, but when he did? It was worth it.

She smiled into the kiss. _I love you_, she thought. _I don't want you to be alone if I don't survive this damn war. Tali will take care of you if I can't._

* * *

><p>Shepard didn't even pretend to be surprised when Tali walked up behind her as she exited the elevator, grabbed her by the arm, and practically dragged her into Life Support. She just crossed her arms in front of her when Tali let go of her arm, waiting patiently.<p>

"Garrus has… shown interest in me," Tali said, only a little bit of hesitation in her words. "As more than a friend."

Shepard leaned back against the wall. "Oh?" she asked casually.

"He claims that it was your suggestion in the first place," Tali said, more pointedly.

"Oh?" Shepard repeated. She quirked one of her eyebrows.

Tali threw her arms up in the air. "Stop standing there and saying 'oh'!"

Shepard's mouth twitched. "What do you want me to say?" she asked.

"I want you to tell me whether or not your boyfriend is trying to cheat on you with me!" Tali shot back. She wasn't actually yelling, but it was a lot closer than Shepard had heard coming from her friend in quite some time.

There was a long pause. Then Shepard burst out laughing, despite her best efforts to do anything but that.

"Would you like me to give the two of you some privacy, Shepard?" EDI asked suddenly. She sounded almost amused.

Tali looked up at the ceiling. "Go away. Now."

This time, there was no _almost_ about the amusement in EDI's voice. "Of course. Logging you out."

In the momentary silence that followed, Shepard at least had a chance to force herself to stop laughing.

"Tali, you've known Garrus almost as long as I have," Shepard said, more than a little mirth still in her voice. She shook her head. "Do you really think he'd lie about _that_? Really?"

There was a long pause.

Tali finally ducked her head. "No," she admitted somewhat sheepishly, "but I still wanted to hear it from you."

Shepard gave her a tired smile. "I love him, Tali," she said quietly. "And you know damn well that you're one of my best friends. Is it really so odd that I want the two of you to be happy?"

Tali tilted her head, and Shepard had the oddest feeling that she might have been being gaped at on the other side of that mask. "You're offering to let me share your inszel. Yes, it's surprising!"

Even though Shepard's translator hiccupped on that last word, she had a pretty good idea what it meant. She shrugged before reaching out to rest her hand on Tali's shoulder.

"If you hurt him, I'm requisitioning a Mako for the sole purpose of making you go groundside with me in it," Shepard said, in a voice that was about as serious as she could possibly make it.

Tali burst out laughing. "Oh, go away you bosh'tet," she said, shoving Shepard's arm off of her. Then, more seriously, she added: "You know damn well I care for him too much to do that."

* * *

><p>The first time Shepard walked into the main battery only to find Garrus and Tali in a clinch, it surprised her how much it didn't hurt. She stopped in the entryway, staring at the two of them more in surprise than anything else. They yanked apart as if they were on fire, stammering excuses and staring at her with wide eyes. Or, at least, Garrus stared at her with wide eyes; she assumed Tali was doing the same, but she didn't know for certain.<p>

"I'll, uh, give the two of you some privacy," Shepard said, purposely making her smile as big as possible.

They were both still stammering as she turned around and walked back out, the door closing behind her. Shaking her head, she made her way back toward the mess hall.

Then she noticed a familiar form sitting at the mess hall table, with a very clear view of the main battery. Her eyes narrowed.

_Oh, for the love of—_

"James," Shepard said casually, walking up to the table and leaning against it.

Vega looked everywhere except her face. "Lola."

Neither of them said anything for a few seconds.

Shepard finally let out a sigh. "Vega, you're not being subtle," she said, rolling her eyes.

"Don't know what you're talking about, Commander."

She snorted. "Bullshit."

The corner of Vega's mouth twitched, and he finally met her gaze. "You and Scars on the outs?" he asked.

"Nope," she said.

He raised an eyebrow. "Then him and Sparks, it's okay with you?"

Shepard crossed her arms in front of her chest. "Yep."

He stared at her for a second, as if he was trying to figure something out. "Huh," he said finally, and it sounded more like it was aimed at himself than at her. "Didn't know you had it in you, Lola."

Shepard rolled her eyes again. "Do me a favor and keep it to yourself, will you?"

Vega put a hand to his chest. "Really, Commander, what kind of guy do you think I am?"

"Uh-huh," she said dryly. "Keep it to yourself, James. I mean it."

* * *

><p>It didn't surprise her in the least that everyone on the <em>Normandy<em> knew what was going on within a couple of days.

Most people didn't say anything, not to their faces, but it was obvious that the story had spread. Javik sniffed at her and looked slightly-less-disgusted than usual. Liara patted her on the shoulder every time they walked by each other. Traynor stammered more than usual and made it very clear that Ken and Gabby hadn't told her _anything_ about _anyone_. Dr. Chakwas gave her a knowing look that Shepard honestly had _no idea whatsoever_ how to read. And Joker, well, was Joker.

"Tell me that I'm not allowed to shoot him," Shepard said, flopping down on her bed.

"You're not allowed to shoot Joker," Garrus said obediently as he sat down beside her. He paused for a second. "At least, I assume you're talking about Joker. What did he do this time?"

Shepard gave him a Look.

He very carefully hid his amusement, even though they both knew she could see right through it. "That bad, huh?"

"If I tell you, then _you_ might want to go shoot him," she grumbled, rolling over so that she was propped up on her elbows. "And that would involve you leaving this bed, which would ruin all of my plans."

Garrus chuckled. "What plans would those be?"

She gave him her best leer. "Mostly you and me naked in my bed."

"Oh, _those_ plans," he said lightly. "I don't know, I really have some calibr—"

Shepard reached out and grabbed him around the waist, sending him sprawling down beside her on the bed. "Don't even think about finishing that sentence," she said, shoving herself up so that she could straddle him.

Garrus's mandibles fluttered. "Whatever you say, Shepard."

Shepard leaned down and pressed a kiss again the scarred side of his face. And if she couldn't help but remember what he and Tali had looked like, wrapped around each other as if they were the only two people in the galaxy, well… there were all sorts of worse things for her to be thinking about.

* * *

><p>"Four of a kind!" Tali said, throwing her cards down on the table so that everyone could see them. "Ha!"<p>

Ashley groaned. "Not again," she grumbled, finishing off the glass of tequila sitting beside her. "That's it, I'm out."

Cortez finished off his own drink. "Me too," he said, standing up from the table. "And so's Mr. Vega."

Vega blinked at that. "No I'm not."

Cortez gave him a pointed look.

Ashley didn't bother with a look. She just kicked him.

"Okay, okay, I can take a hint," Vega said, shaking his head. He gulped down what was left in his glass before picking up the bottle sitting beside him. "I'm out too."

Shepard rolled her eyes. "You guys would all make terrible infiltrators."

"Whatever you say, Skipper," Ashley said, clapping Shepard on the shoulder as she filed out after Cortez and Vega. "You guys have fun."

Shaking her head, Shepard settled back in her seat. Garrus and Tali were staring at each other as if they'd forgotten there was anyone else in the room, something that they'd been doing quite a bit of lately. She honestly thought that they might not have noticed the commotion of half the people at the table leaving.

Part of her was tempted to clear her throat and drag their attention back to her. The game. Of course she meant the game.

A larger part of her couldn't help but sit there and enjoy the view, just for a few seconds.

Shepard knew that she should probably be jealous, but she just… couldn't. Not with the two of them sitting there across from her, lost in the view of each other. She loved Garrus, and she loved Tali, and—

_Wait a second_, she thought suddenly, her eyes widening in realization.

No, no, no. That hadn't been the plan. That hadn't been the plan _at all_. She'd told Garrus herself, she was a one-turian kind of woman. She'd pushed him toward Tali so that he would have a chance at getting a happy ending, not because—

Because—

_Oh, crap._

Even though she wasn't really aware of it, she must have made some type of noise. Garrus and Tali both looked at her.

A confused look appeared on Garrus's face as he looked around. "Where did everyone go?"

* * *

><p>Shepard had to admit, she could understand now why Garrus couldn't keep his eyes off of Tali.<p>

It was becoming harder and harder for her to keep her eyes off either of them, at least while they were on the ship. Groundside, it was a bit easier, mainly since the threat of imminent death was a good way to keep completely irresponsible hormones in check. But on the _Normandy_ herself? Not so much.

The worst part was, she didn't think she was doing nearly as good a job of hiding it as she meant to do.

(Then she'd think back to that night they'd been playing Skyllian-Five, when the others had left her and Tali and Garrus at the table by themselves. And she'd think back to that knowing look that Dr. Chakwas had shot her, when she'd first pushed Garrus and Tali toward each other. And she'd think back to Joker making crude comments, because he was Joker, but also because he tended to see things more clearly than anyone gave him credit for.

And she'd wonder if maybe she'd _never_ done that good a job at hiding things.)

"Gah!" Shepard threw her datapad at the wall with a bit more force than she'd intended, and she flinched at the cracking sound it made when it connected.

Especially when she noticed that the door to her quarters had opened about five seconds before it hit the wall, and that both Garrus and Tali were standing in the entryway. Staring at her. Pointedly.

"Do I want to know what the datapad did to deserve that fate?" Garrus asked carefully.

Tali crossed her arms. "Was it planning a mutiny?" she asked. "Had it decided to join forces with the Reapers?"

"Did you notice that it was set to explode, potentially incapacitating you and putting me one step closer to becoming overlord of the galaxy?" EDI chimed in, her voice coming from the nearby speakers.

There was an awkward silence.

"That was a joke."

Shepard reached up to massage her temples. "Privacy, EDI."

EDI sounded almost… disappointed. "Logging you out."

Shepard sighed, and for a second she was tempted not to look up. She couldn't do that, though, for more reasons than she wanted to examine.

"Garrus," she said, bringing her head up. "Tali. I have to admit, I wasn't expecting… well, both of you. Is something up?"

Garrus looked at Tali. Tali looked at Garrus.

For the first time since she'd told Garrus to go for it and all but shoved him in Tali's direction, Shepard felt a bit of apprehension. She straightened up, moving her gaze between the two them.

"It's not that!" Tali exclaimed, as if she knew exactly what Shepard was thinking.

Garrus's mandibles fluttered in alarm. "No, not that!"

Shepard's mouth twitched, just a bit, as that hint of nervousness faded. "I didn't say anything."

Tali made a noise that sounded suspiciously like a snort. "You didn't have to," she said. "Your face is very easy to read, Shepard."

Just like that, the trepidation was back, but in a completely different way. And Shepard couldn't help but notice that neither of them were protesting this time.

* * *

><p>"We'll need to talk with Dr. Chakwas," Tali said drowsily, absentmindedly running one of her fingers over Shepard's bare stomach. "I mean, that is, so that I can—"<p>

"I get it, Tali," Shepard said, smiling at her. She reached up and rested her hand on the side of Tali's face mask, and for a second she could almost imagine that she felt the skin underneath it. "I do remember that conversation we had last year, after your trial."

Tali let out an embarrassed-sounding whimper.

"Wait, what conversation was this?" Garrus asked, leaning forward over Tali's shoulder. His bare skin contrasted sharply against Tali's suit.

Shepard shrugged. "Well—"

"Nothing of any importance whatsoever!" Tali cut in, shooting Shepard a frantic look.

Biting her lip, Shepard nodded. "Like she said, nothing important."

Tali turned her head toward Garrus. "You shouldn't be so nosy," she said, elbowing him.

_Linking suits_, Shepard mouthed to Garrus. _I'll tell you later._

"I saw that!" Tali said, spinning around to face Shepard.

Shepard shot her an unapologetic grin.

Then, after a few seconds, it started to fade. "Are the two of you sure this is what you want?" Shepard asked. "I mean, really? Because this—"

She was cut off when Tali leaned forward and hugged her. A second later, Garrus leaned forward and did his best to join in.

It was more than a bit awkward. The bed really wasn't big enough for three and, while the part of the suit that covered Tali's hands was made of a material that wasn't uncomfortable against bare skin, other parts of it were more rough. Not to mention the angle that Garrus was sitting at meant that his talons were pressing into Shepard's bare back a bit more than usual.

Shepard had never felt more content.


End file.
